There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
