the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
it's great music for shaving your balls
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
