Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
