One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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