I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
