No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
