At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
