I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
