It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
