Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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