shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
