Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
