**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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