i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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