you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
