I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
sarcasm needs its own font
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
