The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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