"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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