Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
