Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
how does that bad decision feel?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
