maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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