yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
