I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
