turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
