ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
