im drinking this country out of the recession.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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