is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
