Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
