i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
