Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
if only i could text you this smell
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
