hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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