i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
