Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
