when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
