I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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