No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
