I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize