We're like a lot better than the average bears
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
