P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
