GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
