**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i think my mom watched the whole time
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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