Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
