Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
