So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
