Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
