The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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