Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
