Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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