Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
