he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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