Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
